Founder
Tahmid Choudhury
After I lost my brother and sister to drug overdose and suicide, I created Afterglow so we can remember who we lost. I realised people think grief disappears. If you have faced loss like this, you know it hasn’t. This is the place for us all to connect.
If you need someone to talk to now, find support.
I’m Tahmid Choudhury, the person behind @asktahmid and the founder of Afterglow.
I use science and lived experience to talk plainly about grief, trauma and the things people are often taught to keep private. I am not a therapist or doctor, and nothing here replaces individual professional support. I care about making evidence understandable, without pretending a scientific explanation can make loss neat.
I worked on building BioBrainBuddies, my neuroscience educational channel and that led to using my understanding to explain the science of grief.
The people this began with
Six years ago I lost my sister and my brother.
My sister was Fahmida.
My brother was Jabid.
They are not a backstory or a reason for a project; they were two people I loved, and they are still part of how I see the world.
Fahmida died after taking MDMA. A year later, we lost Jabid too. That is the sentence, but it cannot carry what happened to us.
After Fahmida died, our family was grieving, but we did not really know how to grieve together. There was shock, pain, blame and silence, and a lot that stayed unsaid. Jabid was grieving his sister too. He said he wanted to see her again. After a suicide attempt, he went through a psychotic episode and became terrified by things that felt real to him but were not.
Jabid later died in a river. We do not know with certainty whether he intended to die that day, or whether he was trying to escape the danger he believed was around him. I do not want to turn him into a diagnosis, a cautionary tale, or one explanation. He was my brother. He was someone we loved. But I also cannot pretend that the grief, silence and mental distress around us did not matter.
Losing both of my siblings changed the map of my family and the shape of my life. There are conversations I still save up to tell them before I remember. There are dreams where one of them is alive again, and the waking can feel like losing them twice. There are memories that now have fewer people left who were there.
Why Afterglow
I share my story because I want people to know they aren’t alone in feeling this. And I share the science behind it, because understanding what your brain is actually doing during grief made it feel less frightening for me, so now I break it down for others.
My whole message is about not bottling grief in. I talk openly about how they died to expose the stigma my culture puts on talking about these deaths, and it resonates with many people who have similar stories but feel they cannot talk about it openly.
After I shared my story, many people comforted me, and many shared their own losses with me. That is why Afterglow exists: a place made for exactly this.
A private account called Grief Thread
Grief Thread
Before AskTahmid, there was Grief Thread: a private account where I could say the things I was struggling with and tell my story without feeling exposed. At first, I needed that distance. I was learning how to speak about a life I had spent trying to carry quietly.
But the more I shared, the more people responded. Messages and comments came from people who had lost siblings, parents, partners and friends; people who were frightened by their own reactions; people who had not found a place where they could say the truth without being rushed, judged or given a tidy answer.
I could not reply properly to everyone. That stayed with me. It showed me both how many people were carrying a story alone and how limited one account, one comment thread, or one person’s inbox can be.
AskTahmid
I renamed the account AskTahmid because grief is part of my story, not something I want to keep secret. I still share the science where it helps, the way attachment, memory, sleep and the body can change after loss, but the point is always human connection. Sometimes what matters most is simply hearing: this is hard, and it makes sense that it hurts.
From AskTahmid to Afterglow
Science
For a long time, science was how I tried to understand the world. I studied biological and medical sciences, then worked across research and biotech, including work at Ochre Bio, close to research into human liver biology and the search for better treatments for liver disease. I also worked around science: helping complex ideas become clearer, more human and easier to care about.
I left the path I was on because I wanted to use what I had learned differently: respect for evidence, an instinct for explaining difficult things clearly, and the experience of losses that changed my life.
Afterglow
AskTahmid is where I keep learning in public, sharing science, stories and words that might help someone make sense of grief. Afterglow is the longer-term attempt to build the place those conversations pointed towards: a shared home for remembrance, community and the love that remains.
What people wrote
Names are left out.
Being witnessed, not pitied
What stayed with me was being seen.
Messenger message
Yes yes bro how you doing, hopes everything all good and eveything, I’ve seen some of your TikTok videos and i ngl bro I do feel soo bad for you the way your handling your griefing and you trying heal up and rebuilding your life together, I just want to say always put your trust in Allah bro 👊🏼
TahmidYooo bro how’s it going?! I’m doing well. Why do you feel bad? Everything is going how it’s meant to be going and channeling this to help other is the gift I can offer others
Instagram message
Hi Tahmid! I came across your account on my fyp and I went through a bit of your content.
I just wanted to take out a little time and let you know that I’m very deeply sorry for your losses. Its not easy grieving people you’ve loved dearly.
But, I’m so proud of you for actually making the best out of a shitty situation and for putting yourself out there to be a supportive figure for people coming across your content that might be grieving a loss of their own.
Inshallah I pray that you end up reaching lots and lots of people. Continue on with the great work you’re doing ♡
TahmidHey, thanks so much for the message it really means the world to me and that it’s helping people ❤️
Instagram message
Hey Brother thanks for sharing ❤️, you may not be able to see it but you truly define what it means to be a Super Human. May Allah elevate and reward your patience, understanding, and acceptance; and may he continue to develop you into the LEADER you are becoming.
Truly an inspiration, I’m lost for words. Thank you.
TahmidThank you so much ❤️ your kind words almost made me cry on the bus tbh
Facebook comments
Tahmid I felt a special connection with you from the very first day we met. I think we both recognized something in each other that didn't need to be explained.
We know that behind our smiles there are broken hearts, but we choose to keep smiling and to find happiness in the beautiful memories of our loved ones. Those memories will always be a part of us, and in a way, they keep them close 🤍🤍🤍
TahmidI completely a agree, this is why it’s so important for people to share their stories because you never know who you might connect with and lead to something beautiful like this ❤️ there is actually a video about you somewhere on my account but you might have to scroll down a lot haha about how you gave me that little heart saying a piece of your heart is traveling with me. I never forget these types of conversations and I believe that everyone we connect with people through our story we heal a little abit ❤️
Facebook post
I haven’t posted on social media in over 6 years. But Tahmid Choudhury is an incredible person, so much fun and full of life. If you think his journey and experience with grief would benefit you or someone you care about please check out what he has been up to.
Someone could relate
Many told me about their own loss.
Instagram message
Thank you for your kind words. I’ve lost my father 5 years ago and it’s still hurts so much and I recently lost my brother ( similar to what happened to your sister, am so sorry)
I have tried my hardest to support him with his addiction but am still blaming myself for not doing enough
Am uncomfortable opening up. Your video popped up on my feed and for once I felt someone may actually relate…
TahmidI’m sorry to hear that. It’s not your fault and any of this happened
TahmidIt means a lot that my video helped you in some way and it helps me knowing people can open up more by seeing this content. You are already opening up more than you think so keep it up!
Instagram message
Man I’ve just seen your most recent post. Firstly I would like to say I am so sorry for your loss I can only imagine how hard it must be to lose 2 siblings. I think this is absolutely awesome and I would love to have a look through your workbook. I too lost my brother just over a year ago now and having a mind that likes to understand the world through academia I can’t tell you how much this resonates with me. I hope you had the most incredible time in India I’m so jealous Ladakh looks out of this world and I hope our paths cross again sometime very soon.
TikTok comments
TahmidI’m so sorry 😔 how are you coping at the moment? I lost my sister in 2020 then my brother in 2021. I hope you are surrounded by all the love you need to support you through this ❤️
Thank you for your kind words! I’m not doing great 😢 it will be 5 years in December since my little sister decided she couldn’t deal with the pain of this Earth anymore 💔 I’m very sorry for your losses but your posts have been helping me a lot so thank you for being so transparent about grief. Dad passed away from cancer but is no longer in pain so I am thankful! 🙏🏽 if ever you need someone to speak to, please reach out 💛💛💛
The hard days
People told me about theirs, and remembered mine.
Instagram message
Happy Birthday tahmid 🎉🎂
I know today might bring a lot of emotions and memories.I know you miss your brother and sister deeply and while nothing can fill that space, I hope you always feel surrounded by love.Take care of yourself
You deserve all the gentle and beautiful things in life 🤍
TahmidThanks so much I really appreciate your message and the kind words ❤️❤️
TahmidYou are so thoughtful x
Instagram message
Hello 👋🏼 sorry for the duplicate comments, TikTok being weird deleting my comments. I am thankful for your posts and just know you are not alone and are appreciated for how you! I will definitely take your advice and try not to fixate around the milestones but it’s a lot harder knowing my sister passed away because her friends bullied her and failed her as a person. I wish there was more I could have done! Love and appreciate all your posts and will continue following your posts 💛💛
The conversations that became Afterglow
Afterglow grew out of those conversations. I did not want to build another place where people consume grief content alone and then disappear. I wanted to build a place where someone can name the person they love, share a memory, and be met by other people who understand.
That is why community is part of the idea from the beginning. A memorial matters, but people need more than a beautiful page. They need to be witnessed. They need a way to say, “this happened to me too,” to leave a small message, to find language for what they are carrying, and to know that their person still has a place in the world.
Why a night sky
A lot of the deepest thoughts arrive at night. It is often when the noise has stopped, the messages have slowed down, and there is nowhere left to hide from the person you miss. The idea of a shared sky came from that feeling.
In Afterglow, each person can have a star: a lasting point of light in a larger sky, with their name, story, photographs and memories held around it. Lighting a star is not only about creating a memorial. It is an invitation to say someone existed, they mattered, and their story does not have to vanish because the world has moved on.
The star is never meant to reduce someone to an object in a galaxy. It is a way to find them again. Behind it can be the different memories held by siblings, friends, partners and families, the many ways one person existed in the world.
What I’m trying to build
Afterglow is being built as a shared night sky where every person can have a star. Some memories will stay private. Some will be shared with a few people. Some may become a public place for friends, family and strangers to leave a message, light a candle or simply witness a life.
The name comes from the idea that love does not disappear when someone dies. Their physical presence is gone, but their humour, influence, lessons, stories and place in the people who loved them remain. That is the afterglow.
I do not think a platform can solve grief. But I do think better places to remember, more honest information, and real connection can make an unbearable life feel a little less lonely.
If that resonates with you, you are welcome here. Explore Afterglow, or follow the grief education work at @asktahmid.