Where to Get Real Help

Samaritans, Cruse, and how to tell the difference between grief doing its work and prolonged grief that needs a professional. UK numbers, and where to look beyond it.

If you need to talk to someone right now

999if you or someone else is in immediate danger, anywhere in the UK.

116 123Samaritans, free, 24 hours a day, every day. You do not need a reason.

85258Shout, if talking is too much: text the word SHOUT, free, any time.

111NHS urgent advice, including mental health, when it is not a 999 emergency.

Outside the UK: in Ireland, Samaritans are on the same number, 116 123. In the United States and Canada, call or text 988. In Australia, Lifeline is on 13 11 14. In New Zealand, call or text 1737. Anywhere else, findahelpline.com and befrienders.org list a crisis line in your own country. If none of that is reachable right now, a hospital emergency department will not turn you away.

Grief on its own is not an illness

Most grief does not need a professional. It needs time, company, and permission to feel as bad as it feels. Waves of intense pain, trouble sleeping, forgetting things, crying without warning months later, all of that is ordinary. Grief research consistently finds that most bereaved people are more resilient than expected, and that there is no single right pace (see the research).

When it is worth asking for more

Something else is also true: for some people, grief does not ease with time, and it stops being something they can carry with ordinary support. Researchers now have a name for this, prolonged grief, and real, tested treatment for it. It is worth treating as information, not as a verdict on how much you loved someone, if:

It has been more than about a year, and the pain has not softened at all, or has got worse.
Daily life, work, eating, getting out of bed, has become consistently impossible.
You are avoiding anything that reminds you of the person, to an extent that is shrinking your life.
You feel like part of you died with them, or that life has no point without them.
You have had thoughts of not wanting to be here. This one matters most. Use the numbers above.

None of this means something is wrong with you. It means the kind of support that helps has changed, the same way a wound that will not close on its own needs a doctor rather than more time.

UK support, by name

Samaritans

Free, confidential, 24 hours a day, every day of the year, for anything, not only a crisis. Call 116 123. (Samaritans has closed its email service, so the phone is the way in.)

Shout

If speaking out loud is too much, text the word SHOUT to 85258. Free, confidential, any time, and answered by a trained volunteer by text.

Cruse Bereavement Support

A charity specifically for grief, not general mental health. Free national helpline, 0808 808 1677, open on weekdays: Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday from 9.30am to 5pm, and Tuesday from 1pm to 8pm. It is closed at weekends, so outside those hours use Samaritans or Shout above. Local support and a way to write to them are at cruse.org.uk.

Your GP

The ordinary route into talking therapy on the NHS, and the right person to raise prolonged grief with, including a referral for grief-focused treatment.

NHS 111

For urgent, non-emergency help, including a mental health crisis, any time. In England, call 111 and choose the mental health option, or use 111.nhs.uk. In Wales, call 111 and press 2. In Scotland, call 111 for NHS 24 and choose the mental health option. In Northern Ireland, call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000, free, any time.

Beyond the UK

Every number below is free and answers at any hour. In an emergency, use the local emergency number given with it.

Ireland: Samaritans, 116 123. Emergency 112 or 999.
United States and Canada: call or text 988. Emergency 911.
Australia: Lifeline, 13 11 14, or text 0477 13 11 14. Emergency 000.
New Zealand: call or text 1737, or Lifeline on 0800 543 354. Emergency 111.

Grief support exists almost everywhere, under different names. Two directories cover most of the world between them:

findahelpline.com lists a free, local crisis line by country.
befrienders.org connects to independent emotional support centres in more than thirty countries.

If you are worried about someone else

You do not need the right words. Say plainly that you are worried, name what you have noticed, and ask directly whether they are having thoughts of ending their life. Asking does not put the idea in their head, and it is the only way to find out if they need the numbers above tonight rather than next week. If they say yes, stay with them and call 111 or, in immediate danger, 999.