Plan the Day

Ideas for the day

Choose any. They go on your plan below.

For a birthday

• Do nothing at allGetting through the day is enough. Nothing has to be marked.Add to plan
• Make what they loved to eatTheir recipe, their usual order, the cake they always chose.Add to plan
• Raise a glass to themAt dinner, or at the time they were born, with whoever is there.Add to plan
• Ask for a storyOne message to people who knew them: tell me something about them.Add to plan
• Write them a cardSay what has happened this year. Keep it, or leave it somewhere that was theirs.Add to plan
• Do something they would have chosenTheir walk, their film, their team playing.Add to plan
• Give something in their nameA small gift to something they cared about.Add to plan

For the day they died

• Decide in advance, and keep a way outWho you will be with, and how you will leave if it gets too much.Add to plan
• Go somewhere, or stay awayTheir grave, a place you shared, the sea. Or nowhere near any of it.Add to plan
• Light a candleAt home, or on their star. Some people mark the hour; some cannot, and that is fine.Add to plan
• Tell one person what today isA short message is enough. Let someone carry the day with you.Add to plan
• Write to themA letter you never send. What has happened, what you would ask.Add to plan
• Plan something ordinary for afterA film, a meal, an early night. You can take the day in doses.Add to plan

Here, today

• Go to the skyFind their star and light a candle, or just look for a while.
• The First Winter Without ThemFor the dates that come round, and the dark evenings.