Community guidelines
Short, because the most important one is simple: be kind to people who are grieving.
What this place is
Community is a place to talk about the people we lost, and about what losing them is like. It is run by the people in it. Afterglow is run by one person and nobody reads every post before it appears, so everyone is responsible for what they post, and it stays kind because the people here keep it kind.
Everyone posts as themselves, with the name on their account. There is no anonymous posting.
Be kind
Someone reading your words may be having the worst week of their life. Reply to the person, not the argument. You do not have to fix anything; saying you read it is often enough.
If someone is struggling, stay with them a moment. A few encouraging words, something that helped you, or simply saying they are not alone can carry someone through a hard night.
No grief is measured against another here. A pet, a parent, a child, a friend, a pregnancy, someone still alive and slipping away: all of it belongs.
What does not belong
Hate, harassment or bullying of anyone, for any reason, including their faith, race, sexuality, gender, disability or the way their person died.
Spam, or fundraising for strangers. A link to a fund the family already runs is fine on their own memorial.
Detail about how to end a life: how-to, amounts, or a means or place described as a way to do it. Saying plainly how someone died is part of their story and is welcome. Instructions are not, because they can put a reader in danger.
Someone else’s private information, such as a living person’s medical details or where they live.
Anything that claims to be someone you are not.
The hardest parts
Some of what grief holds is hard to say anywhere: the body, the hospital, the morgue, identification, washing and ghusl, the janazah, the funeral. There is a room for it, The hardest parts. Everything in it sits behind a note, and only people who chose to come in ever see it.
Every faith and culture cares for its dead in its own way. Meet each one with respect.
When a post is reported
Every post and reply has a Report button. When three different people report the same thing, it is hidden from everyone except the person who wrote it, and it waits until someone has looked. The writer is told, gently.
We read every report and act on it. We remove anything hateful, cruel, illegal or dangerous.
A post that includes detail about how to end a life is only shown to its writer, who can take it down and share it again without those words.
If you are struggling now
If you are thinking about ending your life, or you are worried about someone here, please talk to someone now. Samaritans answer any time on 116 123, free. You can text SHOUT to 85258. If someone is in danger right now, call 999.
Afterglow is not a crisis or support service, and nobody here is on call. The people who can help tonight are at those numbers.
Talk to someone now
Free, any time, and you do not have to be in crisis to call.